soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
