No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Vodka?
Forever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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