i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
