Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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