Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize