Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
