God, you're like boner-b-gone
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
