Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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