there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
