problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
