My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
