bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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