the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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