I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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