I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize