I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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