it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
