When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
