You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
