I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
