did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
