no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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