And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize