Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize