Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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