I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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