Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
