discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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