I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
