That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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