i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
