i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize