im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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