remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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