Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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