yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
