Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
