Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
