just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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