he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Panties = found
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