Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
