I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
