i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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