Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize