I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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