apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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