Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
