We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize