Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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