he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
