I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
