i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
