"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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