So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
