So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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