I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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