So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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