Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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