Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
