I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
