ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
