My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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