why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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