I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
